Do you ever wonder why some relationships are just wonderful and others totally suck the energy right out of you? Here’s why:
How to get the most out of this exercise:
- Circle each value you move towards and each you move away from in regards to one area of your life you are working on now (e.g.. relationships, work, school). Pick a maximum of 10 values only for this exercise.
- Now, taking two of the circled values at a time ask yourself or your partner. “Which is most important to me, this one—or this one?”
- Take the most important value you have chosen and compare it to each of the other circled values one at a time. Each time ask yourself the same question. You should be able to find one value that sticks out above all the rest.
- Now pick the next value and compare it to the remaining circled ones, finding the next most important value in your life.
- Continue down the list until you’ve made your the choices that are the most important to you.
- Do the same with the Moving Away From Values.
- Discuss them with a friend or family. Do you understand why some relationships are not working for you? Do they challenge or question your most important values? When people do this it’s like having someone tell you that 2 + 2 = 5. You know it doesn’t. You know that for sure. They will figure it out someday on their own and you don’t have the need to convince them otherwise, so you just move on.
How do I use the answers in my life?
- Pick partners that support your beliefs and do not purposely challenge them or “push your buttons”.
- Pick jobs that align with your values. (When you are happy you make more money anyway!)
- Choose friends, relationships, organizations and hobbies that most align with your values.
- These are the values that are your special gift to the world. Use them wisely, but most importantly, just utilize them!
Moving Towards Values:
|Ambitious||Exuberant||Listener||Sense of humor|
|Committed||Genuine||Peace of Mind||Tender|
|Cooperative||Humorous||Proud of Self||Whole|
Helpful Links and References:
I gleaned this exercise from a Nikken Humans Being More workshop a few years ago. We learned that the exercise should be done for relationships and again for career or goals because sometimes your priorities will differ. Quite interesting. Anyway, you can read more about that wonderful adventure here: