(A Gift Worth Giving–Picking The Perfect Gift—Always!)

By Dr. Denice Moffat 

How do you know when you’ve picked the perfect gift? Do you wait for a smile? A romantic inflection of the voice? A warm hug, and a big thank you? Isn’t that the ultimate goal? To please the people you love the most? What if there was a way to always pick the perfect gift? Well, there is… 

One technique that works well at our house is the “To Buy” File. We each have one. In the file we put in pictures of what we want to have, write down titles of books, CD’s, places we want to go or workshops we’d like to experience. We put in pictures of things we only dream we’d have some day as well. Included is a wide-range of items with an equally wide range of prices. Sometimes we even include “honey do” stuff, like things we’d like to see get done around the house, a massage, or a romantic dinner at a local restaurant. 

Now, when a special occasion arises (like Christmas, birthdays, or other holidays), I just go to my husband’s “To Buy” file and pick out a few things that are within my predetermined budget. To Buy Files need to be in a place where everyone can access them. 

If you are anything like me, I find that I sometimes spend more money for other people than I should, even though I purchase a Christmas present or two each month throughout the year. So when someone asks me what I want, I used to automatically say, “Oh, I don’t need anything,” or I’d tell them I wanted something cheap (which I really didn’t want) because I didn’t feel like there was any money to spend. 

Now I say, “Look in my, ‘To Buy’ file.” Last fall, I took the concept a step further. I organized these items in list form on my computer putting the items I would prefer most to have most at the top of the list. 

Update the lists: I hadn’t updated my To Buy File in over a year. This is important to do. Even though we’d talked about perfect gifts throughout the year they weren’t in writing so my sweet husband, who prides himself in surprising people, had nothing to go by (or buy in this instance). So for Christmas I got two floor mats for the truck and a 5 pound container of Greek Seasoning. “I bet you’ll never figure these gifts out.” Uh, noooo. . .I never would have imagined. . .I accidentally let it slip that the floor mats were on the Do NOT give for any occasion file which hurt his feelings. We both felt bad and really didn’t have to. 

Giving is good, but spiritual development only progresses when the process goes both ways. The To Buy File is one way of asking for and getting what you really want. Let the person who is buying for you decide how much they can afford. They love you and want to please you. Don’t take that pleasure of giving away from them. Let them pamper you. You deserve it. 

© 2005-2011 by Dr. Denice M. Moffat

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